I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Randomize
