just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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