The brown eye won't let me do that either.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
