:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
