dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
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I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
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How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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