Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
