oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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