we're making bets on your personal life
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize