just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
