I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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