He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
