All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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