Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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