he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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