I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
