did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
