i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Randomize
