I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
