So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
