She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Randomize
