I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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