i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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