never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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