Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
