a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
