my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
