We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
