K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.