don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.