If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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