I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Need sex. Gaining weight.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.