she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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