The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Randomize
