Dual....:-)
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Randomize
