its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
