he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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