My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize