If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
