Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
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