so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
