I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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