If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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