Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
