I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
