if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Randomize
