You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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