I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
