Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
