He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
