well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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