so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
