i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
