coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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