Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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