youre lurking in front of me
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
