But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
