She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
