I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
