do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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