I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
