And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Randomize
