I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
