You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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