3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize