He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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